Almost Perfect Potato Soup

There once was a little restaurant called Angus Inn. Like most things I love, it eventually left me.* It lost 30 pounds, got a face lift, changed its name, and left me heartbroken and hungry.

Just kidding about those first two things. It did change hands, though, and I haven't been back. Not because I'm mad or anything... it's actually because the last few times I went before the changeover, I found them to be lacking, which is a disappointment in itself. I can choose between salad OR soup? What happened to getting both, bitches?

Anyway, after much (zero) trial and error, I've gotten as close to their divine soup as I can without going back. And since the restaurant is located roughly 700 miles from where I'm sitting, it's going to have to do.

 *****

ALMOST PERFECT POTATO SOUP 

Ingredients

• 1 carton chicken broth
•  1 can evaporated milk (NOT sweet and condensed, you'll make it taste terrible. Honestly, if you mix this up you're probably a body snatcher and not my child. This shouldn't even have to be said. You've embarrassed us both.)
•  2-3 large potatoes, depending on how thick you want it (that's what she said!), chopped
•  1 large onion, blended in a food processor until finely chopped. This is for your father, who won't eat any onion he can see because he's a weenie
•  2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped.
•  8 slices of bacon, plus whatever you think you'll snack on whilst cooking (you know it's going to happen), chopped in a 1" dice
•  Salt to taste
•  LIBERAL white pepper. You'll know you've added to much if it's too hot to eat. Use less next time. Ok, fine. 1-2 tsp
•  Ground black pepper to taste

Instructions

• Fry bacon in a 5 qt dutch oven until crisp, remove and drain on paper towels. Reserve 1 T of bacon fat, discard the rest. Please don't melt the garbage can doing this.
• Saute onions and garlic in fat until onion is transparent and garlic is slightly brown
• Sprinkle 1 T flour over mixture, stirring until flour is browned
• Add the chicken broth and stir, bringing to a boil
• Add chopped potatoes and continue boiling until potatoes have reached desired tenderness, turn down heat
• Remove roughly half of the cooked potatoes, set aside
• Pour the remaining broth and vegetables into a food processor and blend until the consistency is creamy and there's no way your father can see any chunks of onions, return to dutch oven
•  Add set-aside potatoes, evaporated milk, salt, peppers, and heat gently. Make sure not to boil the soup, as it will curdle. And you know what curdling causes, don't you kids? That's right. Bambi to become an orphan. You think about that.

I call this soup my Almost Perfect because there's just something missing. I think it's the candlelit room, soft jazz music, and someone else to clean up the kitchen I just destroyed making it. Someday...

* Most things I love don't leave me. I'm just too loveable. You'll see what I'm talking about, someday.